awareness, personality and illuminating our individual nature

an experiment in looping comments with posts

I posted yesterday about behaviour: acceptance vs justification, and in response to this comment from Egi-RaZoRZ, i wrote:

I like how this reply loops around and around itself … ellipses itself? Because of course neither justification nor acceptance could or should precede or succeed the other, and one is not more important or right or wrong than the other. I guess i just feel a tendency to justify sometimes, and i feel this gets in the way of acceptance — when a tendency develops, the way we respond to our own behaviour can become unbalanced, and therefore unhealthy and unprogressive. Acceptance and awareness can shed light on such a tendency and help us to move on.

Conscious behaviour — that is a whole other thing, if by conscious you mean wilful or intentional. I guess i was referring to unconscious behaviour — to tendencies. I have long wondered about the meaning of “behaviour”: is it an expression of personality, and therefore not representative of an individual’s real nature? Can the light of awareness dispel personality and allow us to act from our individual nature?

Egi-RaZoRZ had commented:

But I think that conscious behavior is (or should be, anyway) in a way a psychological mirror of your own self… Also, justifying something in a sane way would give it a logical meaning, which is nothing wrong, I guess, in addition to the final stage which is the acceptance of it. Maybe I got it all wrong. Oh well, maybe. ^^

If you have trouble justifying something, it does not mean it is wrong. Maybe it is simply beyond the necessity to do so! Which is also a good thing, I’d guess. 🙂

Something else about yesterday’s post, in which i wrote “I’m not sure why i keep thinking and talking in terms of dichotomies lately (this vs that)”:

during an exchange with a friend on Facebook i was directed to consider theosophy after i expressed an interest in gnosis (direct experience of “god”), and through reading about theosophy i found some stuff about non-dualism, which i have always valued in a latent sort of way — i suspect that i have been wondering about dichotomies so much lately because in my spiritual practice i am increasingly sensing an absence of Separation, whereas dualism asserts and informs a belief in Separation.

So yeah, that happened.

Starting to Breathe, Part II

a rambling five-part exploration of how spiritual healing must complement lifestyle changes that will facilitate spiritual healing – Part I is here

After Southeast Asia

In 2011 i went to Southeast Asia for the same reason millions of other seekers have left the West, disillusioned from a culture that promises meaning in the meaningless: possessions, wealth, material well-being … all of it ephemeral in that mundane way – fleeting, impermanent. I am seeking the everlasting, our spirit.

I went on the uncertain hope that i would be awarded an arts grant that would support me to continue my career while i investigated Buddhism on the side. The grant came through, and i spent eighteen months in Thailand and Cambodia, three months teaching creative writing in Phnom Penh, the rest of the time writing a novel manuscript when i wasn’t struggling against the pull of my old self to escape into the above-mentioned external sources of so-called succour.

I feel like i’ve told this story a thousand and one times, to others and to myself. I don’t want to be my story anymore.

I came back from Thailand an alcoholic, stoned out of my brain. I had done all that i could to make the grant project a success in unfavourable conditions and, by the time i was leaving i finally made my way to a five-day stay in a Chiang Mai monastery.

There, i touched a sense of peace and calm that i hadn’t known existed within me, and that was a start.

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Starting to Breathe, Part I

a rambling five-part exploration of how spiritual healing must complement lifestyle changes that will facilitate spiritual healing – the Introduction is here

Fits and Starts

There is a new comb. It can be used without reference to the ‘i’. There was a festival, and there is an OSHO commune on Lesvos, Greece. Here, there and now, there is an alternative way of living. It is the way of light, of love, of uncontrollable and inexplicable laughter: laughter that bubbles up from the well-spring of a healthy spirit.

I have been experimenting with writing without reference to the ‘i’, to the ego, but it is proving difficult – it feels detached from reality, disembodied. Maybe it’s too much for now, because the thing is i’m still attached to my sense of ‘i’, to a sense that things happen to me, or that i do things.

It’s complicated. I’ve been reading Eckhart Tolle again, A New Earth. He has a lot to say about how we invest a sense of self in objects, things, people, whatever – things that ultimately exist outside ourselves, and are not us. And i have obviously been reading and listening to Osho, who has a lot to say about witnessing, about that part of our consciousness that can observe our ego, thereby separating us from what Eckhart would call the mind-made self – a way to start moving toward liberation.

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Starting to Breathe, Introduction

a rambling five-part exploration of how spiritual healing must complement lifestyle changes that will facilitate spiritual healing

Introduction

For years now i’ve been implementing lifestyle changes from habits that are bad for me toward a way of being that is most conducive to spiritual progress. To a considerable extent i have succeeded, but sometimes i relapse and binge. Through experiences i’m having lately between an OSHO festival in Turkey and an OSHO commune in Greece, i’m learning that the reason some of these changes don’t stick is i am not focusing on the root cause of these behaviours – i am trying to treat the symptoms of a spiritual malaise rather than working on the wounds and conditioning underlying that malaise.  Continue reading

Songs from Two Continents, poems by Moris Farhi

Splooge?

Splooge?

Redemption and the Hope for Understanding through Liberation from Separation

As part of my haphazard research into the divergence of East and Western cultures, I picked up a copy of Moris Farhi’s first book of poems, Songs from Two Continents on my tour of Turkey with Mum and Rashid.

This is the first poetry i have read from a Turkish poet, and the second book of any kind by an author from Turkey—the other being The Flea Palace by Elif Şhafak, a Márquezian novel i am picking my way through slowly, the second book i have attempted to read in its entirety on an eReader, the first being, foolishly, Plato’s Republic.

Between Socratic dialogue and the pithy poems of Moris Farhi, there couldn’t be a much greater divide. The first poem is quote worthy not only for its sheer brevity, and is just a taste of the redemption-through-passion theme pursued in the collection:

Paths to God

many paths lead
to God

mine is through
the flesh

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