getting home drunk

Trawling my journal this morning in search of anything approximating coherent, linear, sensical longhand narrative, i came across this, which could be an aphorism:

One of the fundamental things i know about getting home is it’s hard to do so when you’re drunk.

Insightful, no?

It goes on:

It’s fun to zig-zag your way around the streets when you’re 20-something, but as you enter the 30s you realise it’s lonely and cold outside, where you’ll most likely wind up if you don’t sober up and get home.

you are me, a found kōan

My friend Emilio put me on to a guy called Barry Long, a so-called tantra master from Australia. I don’t know if he is a master, and i don’t know if he is a master of tantra, but

i took the first seminar about his fundamental teachings to a hammock in the riverbed at Afroz, and i lay there to listen, ready to immerse and fall asleep if that was to come, which it was—in and out, i listened, to three of his fundamental teachings:

  • there is only one ‘i’
  • there is only one ‘me’
  • there is only one life

Though these are simple, and sutras, he elaborated somewhat and the words resonated somewhat, but the words were not entirely essential because instead of understanding what he means, i received another understanding in the thought form: you are me.

It stuck with me—I don’t know why. It stuck with me and it feels profound, a delicate sutra containing all the world in eight letters.

My rational mind is inclined to elaborate, but my heart just wants to put it on a t-shirt.

Another fundamental aspect of his teachings that continues to reverberate in me is contained in what he says at the beginning, which is that we don’t need to remember teachings, because when we immerse ourselves in something like this, it is in us.

This is a real departure for me, who previously has been debilitatingly compelled to document everything, to record every thought-based understanding, in the hundreds of notebooks i keep for what? It makes everything feel so much easier, so much more enjoyable, to just immerse myself in listening and trust that what goes in must come out.

So, you are me: immerse yourself in it and see what comes out.

You are me.