You thought it couldn’t happen to you, especially because you saw Dumb and Dumber maybe a hundred times, but here you are, in a great mood because it’s one of those inexplicably cold mornings, when the sun is out but it’s still under 10, easy, and there’s frost on your windscreen, the sort of frost that looks like icing sugar but you know isn’t icing sugar, but still you want to lick it, because you’re in a great mood, so you find yourself thinking, Why not – I’m young enough to still enjoy these silly ideas, so without putting your bag or your keys down, you lick the window and then you’re stuck, oh my Buddha, you’re stuck, how hilarious, you’re stuck, still holding your bag and your keys, with your tongue stuck to the windscreen of your car, and all you can do is maybe tilt your head up and hope your saliva thaws the frost instead of turning into more frost, and try to swivel your eyes in your head to see if anyone’s noticed, but really, who cares, so you just start laughing, you may as well, because you laughed at this in Dumb and Dumber, so you go, ‘Uh hughn, uh huh’, with your tongue stuck to the windscreen and your bag and your keys in your hand and the sun shining down into inexplicable cold and here you are, laughing.


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