a departure from ego

This idea about writing, from a young writer i think was involved with Voiceworks while i was there, is dear to my heart, that “even if you don’t finish something, you’ll have always learned something”, and that it’s important to “enjoy the practice of writing as much as what comes out of it”.

I spent a long time thinking that writing was about publication—about finishing something to the extent that you could send it to an editor and they would say “Oh wow, yes!”, like they were orgasming over your words. Of course we need editors and the audience they can bring to our writing, but writing for the sake of process/practice is so much more important to me now, so much more therapeutical and valuable than publishing.

I started a novel manuscript as well, and yeah it’s unfinished, but by writing those 50 000 words that came to “nothing”, i learned a lot about myself, and that’s why i write now. If i write something that’s worth being shared, i throw it up on my blog, but otherwise, writing is more like meditation to me now, and that’s such a liberating departure from the sort of ego-driven writing i used to do, when i was trying to write to an audience of many instead of writing to an audience of one.

2 thoughts on “a departure from ego

  1. Thanks for writing more about this. I wish I had the discipline to write more fiction, or rather, write at all. To be honest, I find myself conflicted with spending the time to write, for my own personal reasons.

    I’ve written some short scenes since this but haven’t contributed anything more in a decent while. Life is a complicated balancing act it seems!

    Just to be clear, I wasn’t involved with “Voiceworks”. Not sure what that is..

    • Oh, i remember your name from somewhere and assumed it was from Voiceworks, a youth literature journal i worked for some years ago. If you’re under 25 it’s a good place to send your writing, photos, illustrations, etc.

      I have no desire to write fiction anymore, but i have a similar conflict with finding the time to write non-fiction—it depends on your intention, i think. When i was writing from an ego-space it often felt … well, egotistical. But i write from a heart-space these days, and in that space it doesn’t need any justification, it’s just a way i process things and try to understand what’s changing.

      Contributing any of this to any publication seems like an outlandish idea, because that’s not really what it’s about for me these days—it’s just a kind of therapy, though it’s losing its relevance as i begin to explore other things outside the conscious mind, which is a whole other story …

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