The lads at the bike shop made a strong case for how much my riding experience would be exponentially improved if I’m correctly fitted to my bike and if I know how to operate the thing with at least something approaching efficiency greater than my current lumbering, lumbar-breaking cycling equivalent to gangly gait.
My hips have been giving me grief since I started a daily riding routine, and I can hardly sit for longer than ten minutes in meditation without my foot going to sleep or my hips aching to the point of distraction, and actually sometimes my groin goes numb in the saddle about halfway up the solid climb I take to get back home in the foothills a few days a week,
which now that I put it so explicitly I realise probably means there’s something quite badly out of alignment around the old hipsters and probably beyond:
it’s one thing that my hips are out and maybe rolling a bit in the saddle, but it’s a whole other thing to lose feeling in your penis.
I once knew a guy who broke his cock, and my masculinity is rickety at best already, and as this guy demonstrated (with photos I cannot unsee) the penis is an organ that requires a lot of blood to operate.
I don’t expect this bike fit or the classes will fix my hips, but at least I might not exacerbate the problem by riding incorrectly on a … now that I think about it … store-assembled touring rig I have had at with an allen key prexactly once, and then to install a drink-bottle cage. And I hear from my housemate the cock-blood thing can be alleviated by proper fitting, so that’s worth a hundred and fifty clams right there.
So it’s at least time for a fit, and maybe these spin classes because what I realised is I could spend a shit-tonne of money on getting equipment and have a miserable time because my cock falls off on a long ascent. I mean, I could be wildly uncomfortable on the bike after a day’s ride, simply because I didn’t invest in knowledge.
And that doesn’t even touch on the idea I could use my bike as a tool for exercising my body in a way that complements my meditation and increases my core strength, both of which are ideas I’ve entertained as likely to be worth exploring.
With my body and soul under control through cycling and meditation, I finally arrive at the final segue to John Updike.